Don't forget to water your flowers!!!

So hi, I’m back from the dead!

It’s half three am, not sleeping, thinking, wanting to write.

You know people go on with life, old friendships fade away they become memories or not even that. I’m really afraid of that and it happened not that long ago.

Well two years ago I went to study to another city (small country, it’s like two hours away - but big deal here, because not a lot of kids leave for the secondary school) So I had this amazing group of friends the six of them, we made a pact to meet every friday for a drink. And yeah it kind of worked for like three four months but then they got busy, birthday parties this and that and the group narrowed to two me and this other friend (well the other two quarreled with the others and themselves later -_- so they didn’t come but I still met up with them)

Well for the other two I just thought that they were busy, but well this one friend that stays and come for a drink to this day told me that they hang out regularly but yeah just without me and i have no idea why (well I do cuz I always do, if I didn’t have I wouldn’t be still awake and write about it right ;) ).

Well I think because I went away they kinda alienated from me, but I don’t know why and that’s really bugging me.

I always invite them I always call they’re always busy and we had such connection two, three years ago and that just faded away from month to month.

If I see them now I think we wouldn’t have much to talk about there wouldn’t be that spontaneous feeling among us that would just bring the words out and let us have a good time.

They always told us that friendships fade away, we never believed it, but reality slaped us in the face and it hurts me, cuz I never thought that they would just throw me out.

I won’t say that i don’t have friends and that I’m totally emo now haha, because I’m not. In secondary school I got a hella lot of new friends with same interests as me and that’s amazing I love them all, but sometimes you just need someone totally opposite than you but we as it seems forgot about that. Well this one friend with whom I always have that awkward conversation of facebook (because otherwise I don’t have a chance to talk to him or see him...) you know the hello, how are you, what are you doing and brb and that’s it that’s all I get from him, three years ago we would sit together for over three hours talking laughing and now we don’t even know how to talk to each other, that’s just sad. Well he’s kind of shy he’s not pushy or that person that would bring people to himself so he’s still holding to those two friends and i think i got pushed out of that group just because I wasn’t there like all the time cuz I got away for school and that just hurts me. I know you can walk away and find new groups of people to hang out with but to just throw out the one person out cuz you don’t want to talk to him. well I don’t really see a point here and I just don’t understand it. That one friend that is still holding on she always says they just wanted three of us well then why did that include the person that lives two blocks away that you never talked to before and that ruined the night for all and you just kind of forgot about me?

I just don’t understand that really, you know seven years of friendship, conquering fears, breaking down the walls together just faded away like that, I mean really?

I’m not saying that I’m alone, because I’m not, I just really miss those moments we had together I really truly do and why do this always have to happen.

If I could have 1000 arms I would hold on to people that changed my life, made me into who I am today and taught me so many things, I would I’d take a minute a second every day to tell them that over and over again just to remind them that we had something special and that that can’t just fade away like that.

Now I’m on the summer break away from all my school friends it’s been like a month from when I saw them last and now that I’m in town I will call them all for a drink or ice cream, to just remind myself that the energy the feeling that happens between a group of people isn’t a coincidence but it’s much more and it doesn’t fade away it stays as long as you want to, you just have to want that and remember that you are not your own creation, every eye that looked at you, every breath that crossed you, every touch that moved you and every word that made you listen helped you grow an inch higher.

Without love we are machines, without feelings we are things, and without friends we are not humans!

Always remember to hold on to those who let you, and don’t forget to always remind them of their strong hand that helped you cross every rough path and every rough river to this beautiful garden full of blossoms that bloomed from your friendship.

Don't forget to water your flowers ;),

Pa3k

Poetic Human Beyond The Worlds

So lately I was thinking about this film that I watched like two years ago Hugo. It got me thinking about the relationship between the boy and the machine-the  robot (i don't like that word) let's say that is mechanical human. And it got me thinking- the mechanical human couldn't work, because his heart was locked the boy had to find the key to find what mysteries he holds inside.

A body is just a mediator, composed of little wheels, pistons, tanks, circuits. A body is only like a hanger on which you can hang a hat, coat or lean a walking stick against it. A body has a pair of wings, they are strong, full of light feathers, that are raising the body up to the sky, clouds, dreams, dimensions. The wings are the heart, that gives you sensuality, that gives every touch softness or wrath.

A body will fly, wherever mind will take it. Mind isn't some kind of material that is building or running the body, mind is a product that arises, like a reaction, when one of pistons move. When the mechanical body is running, the smoke is twisting out of it, smoke that is ascending up high, that smoke doesn't have any limits like mind, that is taking you on a journey of life.

Sometimes things get lost, sometimes you lose everything you have, but there is always an opportunity that you stand up, there is always a signpost standing in front of you that says "Second Chance". Not everybody can see it, some see only the darkness.
I think that sometimes is okay, that things get lost; I think that is okay, that we let tears out of our eyes; I think that is okay, that with every move and every word we can start over!

Even if every word doesn not stay, even if every shape doesn not stay, it's sense stays. It's important what we do with that sense: Can sense fall into oblivion? We can forget about sense, but it won't dissapear, it will come back when we least expect it and it will put you in mind and it will make you cry.
I think that is okay that sence, that could be called a soul from the pulpit, but not as a soul that human has, not a soul, that takes you to heaven or wherever or maybe nowhere, I'm talking about a soul, that is designing you right here where you're standing, I'm talking about a soul and sense, that you usually forget about. When you have a chance, when sence is still holding on, to your shadow TAKE IT and saw it to yourself and show what that sence is about, give it new words, enrich it with new ideas and give it a new life!

Come with me beyond the worlds, I think it's going to be marvellous!!

Hope you're having a great summer

Pa3k

Be A Better Person

I should be sleeping, but my mind isn't letting me.
I will talk about a person whom I know very much...
I'll say that is he. He at first was very very okay, like that person that you know can make you happy, and you can just understand him.
People think that world is just a staight board and they can just walk and walk on it and there will be no problem, they are as perfect as a crystal, and even if they don't think about it, they are exactly like that. They can laugh, they can be funny, they can hug you, they can help you, they can like you, but what do they really think about you?
I'm more and more disappointed with him, he is always close, and I would think of him as a family, but no not any more, cuz everything is so hard, hard to help, hard to listen, but it's really not hard to talk and talk and talk about yourself right?
I maybe sound like a total drama queen, but let me just say that I believed in him, I saw a friend in him, I saw a part of me in him and now that's gone...I don't even know what to think...

People say they like somene, people hug you, but you can't see their face, what they think about you, and what do you think about them. I know and understand that you have to feel good in your body and you can make yourself happy I'm totally sure of that, but I think that you have to be looking around you, you have to see things, you have to learn to accept them, you have to see what are they bringing into your life.
Do you agree?
And if a person that you like that you think you know stop caring and forget about your interests and forget about your life and they see just themselves even in you and see all mistakes and do everything to show your mistakes in public so....I don't know what do you wanna say with that? WHAT!? that I'm that terrible? really? I think that life is more that just complaining and thinking that you are the centre of the straight board that you're living on. I think that life is more than words, more than likeable facade and lovely look.
What about behind those beatuful eyes? I see huge mess there that you are just storing there and trying to clean it with I don't know dusting and scrubbing everything every minute. With that you won't clean your head, that won't make you happier, no! Cleanliness won't clean you of your guilt, it won't make you a better person it won't make you likeable...

Words can be lies, but eyes never lie.

Think before you say anything and remeber to make people happy whenever you can, coz it will make them happy, it will make you happy, and don't clean too much coz that won't save you.

My story

I just found out that I've never told you my story and it's going to be a story about finding happines

Once upon a time, there was this house, no it wasn't a big one, but it was very long, it had big living room, full of wonderful things that you could just look at, and in the back, there was that very special room, full of wonders, full of magic, but in there there was that special spell called love, everybody living in this house could feel it, cuz the door was always open, even the people who would visit it, were changed but this magic.
But some dark day that magic was gone...gone for good...The beautiful long house, became just a blank new page in the boring book that nobody would take down from the library shell. So dad and two boys moved out, cuz they didn't want the blank page they wanted a new story, they wanted a new world full of new wonders. They moved to this garden, it used to be called The Garden Of Colours, but there were no colors to be found, no blossoms, just empty grey....
One day, the little boy came to the door of this garden, he entered. He was holding this little doll in his hand, it was devidet in two halfs, one was bright, he named it The Kid of The Sun, and the other one was dark, almost black, he named it The Beautiful Creature of The Dark. Oh how he loved that doll! He couldn't live without it, it reminded him of that magic in this old long house. He entered the garden. He couldn't believe how could somebody abandoned it, it looked so beautiful, but still bear. He was walking along that grey labyrinth and he found out that he had lost his toy, his one and only memory of the magic and that special spell, he ran back, but he couldn't find it, it was gone...like that magic...
He was crying so hard nobody could stop him, nobody. Through the time wound healed, but never disappeared.
One day it itched him so hard, that he went to this door again! He pushed them, and entered, it was even more terrifying then before, all the spiders and the voices were there, but he grabed all of his courage and went through the labyrinth again. He was walking and thinking when he suddenly triped and fell. It hurnt him so bad, the blood showed on his knee, when he saw through what he triped, he blew all the dust away from it and found his old charm-the doll! He picked it from the groudn, and while he was getting up, he beheld a doorhandle, it was a beautiful wooden doorhandle. He cleaned the dead climber of it and he found the beautiful hand-carven wooden door. He tried to opened it but he couldn't it was locked. He was sad again, he took his doll and turned away. He notised that around doll's neck there was a string from which the key was hanging. "How did it get there?" he asked himself and took it from the doll, he turned back to the door and placed the key in the lock. "It fits!" As he was tuning the key the light started to appear from behing the door, it was so bright that he had to cover his eyes to open the door, he stepped through it! He was very curious to see where did he come to, so he uncovered his eyes and saw this magical word! It was a garden full of blossoms, colors and magic, the one from the old long house. Blossoms came to him and said: "finally the saviour came and unlocked this ugly door that was keeping us from the world, that locked us here, so the world could be blank as the new page, the sad page in the book!"
All creatures ran out on the grey garden and filled it with colors, happiness and MAGIC. The boy was happy again as all the people around him. And the magic wasn't cought in this little room or behind wooden door. Magic was free as this child was! Magic saved him, and made him happy as he was before!

The end

Heros, Our heros

I just watched The Pretty One and I have to say that the film is damn good! You have to believe me, cuz it's pass 3 in the morning and I'm still up, cuz I wanna talk about stuff, like you know I loke to do :)
Well I'll start with this.
Who are our Heros? Who are Heros...
They are people that we worship, thy are people that inspire us, they are people that we want look alike, they are people who always have place in there hearts for us, even if they don't know.
But...(there is always that but) Who are you? If I ask you who are you or is I ask you Who is your Hero, which aswer would be answered first?
I'm going to take a guess the one about your Hero, cuz you have so much to talk about his/her, cuz your mind is exploding, just when I say the first letter of their name right? But when I ask you who you are, for the first 5 seconds you're going to be quiet right? Cuz you can't find the right words. Now I have my heros and you have yours and I'm not saying that that's wrong or anything, I'm just saying that you think enough about who you are, what are the things that descripe you.
I mean in The Pretty One we see just that: A perfect sister, with perfect life, and a weird sister who cleans after her father, but when the perfect one dies the weird one becomes the perfect one and finds that she wants to know about herself by pretending that she is someone else, but that someone else is just perfect why not stick to it, why not?
I mean, some people overlook something that they become that thing, but what about the person that is trying to stand up, be something new, what about that person?
You know people have a lot of copies of other paintings and yeah I just found that out in this film the father and the "weird" (sorry I know that that weird word is horrible, but you know what I mean) sister are painting reproducions of those famouse paintings, and she isn't so good with that, as she is not so good at faking that she is her sister, cuz she is someone else, she is something diffrent, something new, something weird if you want, that nobody else is. And everyone should be like that, everyone should thing about who they trully are, what are their goals, how they want to live.
But sometimes as I sad we just forgot, we don't have words about ourselves, but so many words about others, we are pushing ourselves in some corner of our body and forgetting that this persen is still actually in there, but when something poke that person and all problems come back we just crush, we are in pieces, and who is picking them up? Psyhiatrist! Why cuz we are not strong, cuz we didn't get crushed enough to find a way to pick ourselves up, we were pushing ourselves in the corner, behing old curtains, behind the scenes where no camera can come.
And PSYHIATRIST will save us, of course cuz they are paid to do that, and we have too much money, and we are to dumb to find ourselves. I mean what kind of animal are we? A stupid one, cuz we need someone who we don't know to tell us who we are? DO WE REALLY WANT THAT? Sometimes we think we are not strong, that we are losing, that we are going to be beaten by ourselves, just becouse we are too afraid to find out who we are.
We are afraid to find a lightness in the dark, we are afraid to be that light, we are sitting in the corner and crying cuz "there is no way out", but there are open doors, through them you can find another way, another path of your life, you just have to want it. It's not about the need, it's about the want, it's about your choise, it about you!
It's about WHO YOU ARE!

another thing I will of course post a poem with it, I wrote it like last week and I winished it like right now!
it's

The Light

When I wake up in the garden of colors each day,

the world is painted all in dreary grey,

No flower nor blossom,

Nor bird has come,

To open up the paradise,

To open up your eyes,

To see, to believe,

And love and never leave.

But the time had passed before you opened up your eyes,

the truth is hidden behind all the lies.

The beauty is now gone,

even smiles,

even friendships among the men,

they've used all the wiles,

tricks, ruses, killed again,

it was all gone anon!

The darkness came and ate the bright sun from the sky,

The colors are stolen and I could die,

But I'm somehow still here,

I'm not broken.

From the darkness I can appear,

Now I wear the dark tolken,

I know what this means,

It means, that I am the light that now appears,

I am the sun, not another color, nor another blossom,

I am the one, who will make thing right,

I am the one who will bring up the light!

Be your own light, find it and shine with it!!

Darkness is you

Hey guys!

Not long ago I was looking at some of my old draft, and I found cuple poems that had the same idea, but were shown differently.
They are talking about being who you wanna be and who you are.
And we are all uncomfortable with our own lifes. I mean nobody can say that he/she is perfect, cuz then nobody on the planet would wear makeup and we would be made out of plastic and yeah believe me or not walk naked... but yeah...

We always say, we were made this way, cuz we are trying to find a way to like ourselves, it wouldn't be ok if you would wake up everyday and slap yourself, cuz you don't like your face.
And I think that that shows how strong are we actually: to find a way to like ourselves and not caring so much how are we are acting on the streets with friends or anywhere. That really is the strenght!
And I really like when people do show their flaws, cuz they tell you who this person really is and no powder, no fake/acted smile can't show that.
And that's why we are different, that's why we are beautiful in our own way. Sometimes I like to ask myself, what about animals, can they be ugly??
Well I haven't seen an ugly cat, or cow, or dog (not talking about breeds, but try to imagine you favourite breed). And I think that is because we have this perfect idea of a cat or a dog and if it has like a bit bigger snout or can't open eyes that far, or have wider face, we just don't pick up on that, cuz we see just a cat (or any animal that we like), and we all know that they are cute so nobody really gives a s*** how they look like, cuz they are cute anyway.
But we are not looking at people the same way, cuz we are not covered with fur, we are showing our skin, true face, and nothing can't really hide it (well a mask can, but I really don't believe that you'd wear a mask to a mall) But we are finding places, where our look isn't that important, like an artist paints on his canvas, like a sectretary works on the computer.
And then suddenly people are just starting to like you, because of your work and they are starting to like how you look, how you act, how you dress (like basicly, if we look at the "famouse" people they really aren't that perfect, we just make them that way, cuz we like them!) And I really love that!
Big A+ to all of you for doing that ;)

Yeah and I'll finish this post with a poem that I creatured from those different poems, and it is about finding your special place where you can feel beautiful, great even perfect!

In the garden of colours, where I stand,

I look around, I look at my hand

Red and blue and yellow, 

Are the colours that I see?

But what about me?

I'm just dark and just empty.

I clash with everything,

I don't deserve my place in the spring.

But when the sun goes down from the sky,

I see why do I have to defy.

It's not that I'm empty and that I'm stark,

It's because I'm the beautiful creature of the dark!

Have a very nice day and enjoy your Flower kingdom

Patrik :)

White world

The world
full of loneliness
Is like white.

White is beautiful,
as loneliness can be,
but white is boring,
as loneliness isn't.

You can't talk to
white,
but you can talk with
loneliness.

Loneliness is you.

You are white.

You are beautiful.

Be who you want to be,
there is nothing wrong
with WHO you ARE.

White eyes, pale sking, cold breath, warm touch, will lead you to the world full of colours

It's not really a poem, but I found it when I was cleaning my room and I think it's nice if I share it :)

Looking, Seeing and Understanding

How do we see?

What are we looking at?

Do we see it?

What is it?

Is it a chair?

Yeah, who gives a fuck, let's go!

*Is it a person that needs help?

Yeah, who gives a fuck, let's go!

How do you feel about that? What do you think about that? Are we any different? 

I guess I feel like this is true, I feel like a lot of people see blindness. They see nothing but, oh yeah their persona.

Why can't we all draw?

Have you ever asked yourself why can't you draw a line similar to chair’s?

This will not be any scientific fact or anything, but my wise thinking. Don’t take this as whatever, just think when you read.

I think it's because you don't really see it, you actually see what you draw, even if you don’t think so. Did anybody teach you how to look at something, how to see with your eyes and with your mind?

Is it so hard to draw a curve line or a shape of a nose? I mean can’t you see how simple it is to just imitate the shape and draw a line?

No. Not all of us see like this, because nobody taught you how to see things.

And you would say: “Yeah, but nobody taught you too.”

That is not quite right. I’m an artist, I draw. And teachers are helping me to understand shapes and SEE shapes in different things.

Let’s say you see a fountain, and you think: “Wow I could never draw a shape like this!” And then I see a square, a circle, and a triangle.

Is it so hard to find those shapes in things?

Now days people see through the eyes of publicity, eyes of money, eyes of fortune, ... But not many people see happiness, luck, kindness.

Do you see how happy you are?

Just think for a moment. You have an amazing family, which loves you, you have food every day on the table, you have a place to stay in, you like to call it home, you have amazing friends with which you have amazing time when you are together.

Oh, aren’t you happy? Is that not enough for you? What? You want a castle? Money? Boyfriend, which will make your life perfect, heal all cuts on your hand, make your life a dream?

Would you gave up your amazing life, family for that?

Are your hands really that not important?

Are you loving the pain, blood or what? I don’t get it, what is wrong with you?

Oh! You’re blind! You have happiness in front of you, why don’t you open your eyes and see this sunshine around you. What is your problem? Do you really have to be a drama queen, who doesn’t see two inches in front of her?

Why do we have to make our lives so miserable? Why do we have to bring up the pain and morn about every little thing that isn’t right or doesn’t suites us?

Why can’t you open your eyes and see this beauty of world, beauty of your life, happiness?

Speaking of happiness if you will sit in the bathroom cutting your hands, happiness will just walk by you, and you won’t see it, no you won’t…

Unless you stop for a second, forget every little thing that troubles you and look, spread your eyes and see in what dream you are living in! You have everything that you need even more, even things you won’t pick up even ones in your life, but you are still unhappy. Mourning will not bring you peace, mourning will not bring you happiness or joy.

You have to find it. You are standing here in front of this big wide World, on which you are walking your whole life! Now open your eyes and look at shapes. Don’t be blind, see within! Don’t be stupid, be just eccentric!

Keep them open and don’t forget to use them!

ARTOPOP and Applause + VMA

Hey guys and all little monsters here!!

You don't know about this, but I'm very big, huge fan of Mother Monster aka Lady Gaga!!
Applause!!!!! death!!!! Love it love it love love it!!!!!!
ARTPOP!!!! CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!
VMA I almost died cuz the live broadcast didn't work, but when Gaga came up, everything worked!!

So today I want to talk about Applause and Gaga's performans on VMA!!!

I was blown away by her, song of course, costumes, past in the performans, and all rising if I can call it that way.

I'll start with the set and what I think about it in the artistic way.


I think that it shows the world which is not explored yet-the white colour ( like ARTPOP era is not explored yet) And Gaga is like a new thing in it and as we know that the set is white, she comes out in white (bloody Mary) which shows that she had been put in this world pure and innocent and she is trying to fit in and then she is black (amazing bodysuite).

 I think that that it shows her difference in that world and her desire to be different and be herself no matter what anyone thinks (you know black vs white) And as the performans is going on, we see her in more colours and diffrent costumes (presenting different eras and her past) in my mind that shows how she grown and how she is growing from that boring white world and how she is exploring herself as a person and as an artist, but still, there is the white world behind her-the world that doesn't understands her. And there are dancers in black too, in my mind they are us, little monsters, which helps her being up there between the stars and she is the queen,because she is a fighter and we love her so so so much because of that.

Now I wanna start where I finished in the set, about her being queen.

If anyone watched the interview on Good morning America with Gaga then you know what she means about the song and how and why did she wanted that clown make up on.

Gaga is a special singer and performer and special person. She doesn't want fame or money, she wants love and she wants to be loved and she wants to take that feeling on stage and strew this feeling between Little monsters and make them feel good and special in their's skin and persona (that's why I love her so so much)
And she made/wrote Applause because she wanted to show fans that she has something beautiful to give them and live because of that and I think that she shown that, she really did!

So if anyone has their own opinion or thoughts about that, I wanna see your comments!

Be happy, don't be afraid to be yourself, keep on and stay tuned!!

P.K.

Beauty of writing the blog!

Hey guys!

Today I'll talk about the blog and me blogging. Why did I start? What do I want with that? What do I think about it?

1st how did I start? Well while I was looking for some answers and thoughts about some theme (I don't remember what was I looking for) I saw/read some posts on the Blogger and they were about them selves and their's days and stuff like that. If you read post here on Blogger you probably know what am I talking about.
So I didn't want that, I'm not famous and nobody is interested in my day or what am I doing so I started with posting my paintings and then I left for like a year or something like that. And if you read my blog (talking to those two person, who are reading me; btw thanks for taking the time for reading this) you know that I write when I have something to say, so my post are written like every week or maybe not, it depends on when I have the inspiration to write.

So for today, I'll be one of that other persons who are talking about them selves (don't take me wrong I talk about myself too, but "in the different way" (?), hope that you know what am I talking about)

My first post was I think Somertime sadness, I know it was lame and boring, but in that moment I felt like dying... hahaha bored, but my feeling-and I was talking about myself. That start was something that fell of me, cuz I wanted to talk and speak and tell people something, even 1 or 2 I don't care, I just hope they like it :). Something pushed me to speak and talk and inspire people trough my thoughts and way of living my life and then I started with things that inspires me or helping me or even troubles me and trough my process of living I want to teach you and help you with some stuffs/things. And as you know I always start with the opening (sometimes question, sometimes just a pologue) and then I start to talking about this perticular thing with meaning in my life or how do I do that and then I try to inspire you and give you some tips to be better at this, to don't be afraid of doing that, everybody make mistakes (like today I got sharpie on our leather couch, thank goodness nobody was hope, so I had time to clean it, uhh Hallelujah that was something)

these are some of the posts, in others I talk about my look through the movie, or book (I really haven't done the book yet, but I'll do it, already have a book :) ) so throught those posts I want to bring your eye in the hidden place of movie and maybe see it from the other engle, maybe better one (i don't know, nobody complained about it, should I add yet? )

So this is my prospective of seeing my writing and here it comes tips and tricks about it.
Maybe don't listen to me, cuz I don't have a lot of viewers, but if you do here is some of my tips!

1.Don't be afraid of doing the blog, if you're doing cuz you like and not because you want to be popular and shit, I mean along the way that could or should happen (didn't yet with me)

2. Write and thing about things that you know and love, for those you don't know ask or instructe yourself about it.

3. Don't ever foget about your feeling, put that in your post so you give something more something special in it

4. Don't be sad if not a lot of people are reading you, you write from your heart and people who see and read that can be happy, even one or two

5. Don't rush while writing, cuz thoughts comes in different moments

6. Be happy that you have a blog and you can write from your heart not just about your day and how were you washing the dishes :/

I hope that help you in some way and here is the final touch to that post...the epilogue

I love writing the things that I love and the beauty that those things has. You'll get the beauty of writing trought your posts and way you think.
So never forget that you were put here on this planet to be yourself!!

My first theater experience

Hey guys!

Today I want to write about my first experience with theater and my theater life haha. In my country our school system is a little bit different (elemantary-primary school-9 years (starts with age of 6 or7 ends at 15 years old) then high school 4 years and than college another 4 years) So in my first class we went to the theater in nearest city. And we saw The Snow queen and it was just amazing!!! I still remember some of the scenes and I got some of the pictures!. So I was so fascinated about theater life and that play and at age of 7 I made (wrote-tell (I did not write well at that age haha) directed, designed and I played the Snow queen) this play in my own view and it was not that good, I was crying...because my mask riped of, in the middle of the show, but we had to went on... So that was first trying. The second one went very well! We made The Little Red Riding Hood and I was a girl with the hood! hahah! Yeah I know that I'm a guy but all the girls just didn't know how to act, so someone has to do it...And then I made some little show for christmas and story times and stuff and then I made a bellet Cinderella, I still don't know how did it,  I did that was in fourth class. I was a prince. Oh Oh, yeah one of my friend was a ballerina so she knew it and it went well but some of the acters still did not know that you just can't talk with the audience in the middle of the show.
And then I had a little break, you know school stuff. And in last grade, that was last year I made a musical called A christmas carol by Charles Dickens, and I was working like all summer for that and the whole year before for just TWO shows hahah, but is was amazing! I was Scrooge! We had an amazing teacher and amazing "crew" yeah I got just one time slipper in my head so it was great haha. And we filmed it, which was not ideal, because a man who filmed us...well I hate him and the dvd cost like a whole fortune and I did not want him, but he came in I still don't know how... So That is my theater life and I have to say that I am writing The Snow queen again! And I hope that someday it is going to be on a stage. :)

Writing

You have to be born for that!!
or try VERY VERY hard!!

So what can I say about writing?
Hmh, imagination is something what everyone has (dreams, thoughts,...) But there are people, who can tell imagination in word on paper. And this is the greatest job for me... I believe; let's say that is on second place, but it is an amazing job, because jo have no limits, you have no barrier ( I don't know if that even is a word), so what I am trying to say is that writing is something what you have in your soul, what you know the best how to do (an essey, songs, stories, novels)
That is something what makes you disappear in your world, in your little room with electric fan, because you are dying of heat!

 Writing is something that substitute an alchol for me, haha ( and please don't think that I drink, because I don't)

And you just can't write all the time. You have to get an inspiration and write it down on a paper or phone. But that is something that I don't do ( or do very occasionaly) : / So do that and brings your thoughts to life.

For sometime I thought that this is something what everyone can do, they just need to focus, but when I was watching Smash ( yeah I know, I'm mad for it) There was this amazing song, that brought tears in my eyes, because I saw what writing really means, I saw that this is a true talent, that not everyone has and I am grateful for that!

And there is not much in this song, that told me this, it was a relationship between a writer and composer, it was a situation between those two characters that brought this song to life.

So here is the lyric to this amazing song:

                                                              "The Right Regrets"

A writer has the empty page
Where he can set the scene
He puts the actors on the stage
Or on the movie screen

The characters all say the words
The writer wants to hear
And then, my friend
A happy end

But when the writer steps outside
That room where he is king
He can't control when lives collide
Or what the lovers sing

And so he hides behind his words
The one place he belongs
And in black and white
He can rewrite the wrongs

Where he can find the strength to say
What those he loves should hear
And just erase mistakes she's made
Then make them disappear

Where he can change the plot
So he's a hero, not a louse
And when the curtain falls
There's not a dry eye in the house

A writer hopes to leave behind
A work no one forgets
And when he writes, "the end"
To find he has the right regrets

A writer has the empty page
Where he can use his pen
To mend his heart
And try to start
Again

This song is originaly written by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman

And if you want to hear it, here is a link (Debra Messing is singing!!):

http://www.youstube.com/watch?v=txAOVa_QRu8

Summertime sadness

Summer is here, worries are gone. I am dying. I'm more winter person, that a summer one. And yeah I am born in summer, wow. I needed that.
I like to worry, I like doing somethig, writing something. Last year I was writing our musical A cristmas carol, that is a work, and now...school is over and I have nothing to do, nothing. If my parents are reding this: No I won't clean or cook, no I won't go out with my friends; No i'm just not that kind of person. I can't even draw or paint, where is my inspiration...!
OK I am crazy, it is the first free day of school and I am so worry about! Oh here we are I do worry about stuff that I really don't care about. This is so lame, but it's my first blog so I don't care about it, and I have something to do :) ;)